Am I the only one who gets paranoid about people talking about me? I hear some people talking about 'she', and I get twitchy, even if there's no reason for them to be talking about me. Does this happen to everyone?
Oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARAH!
Now I'm gonna go finish some e-mailing, and then look for a whole bunch of cd's and books and maybe tapes to get out of this lovely institution called the Library. Books are good. Cd's are good. Tapes are good. Books are best. Do I hear an Amen from the peanut gallery?
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Friday, September 23, 2005
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Alright folks, here is an anouncement.
In Febuary, in The Year of Our Lord 2006, I, Cor, am going to wean myself off of my medication. Unless of course all the unlesses maked that impossible. Say, perhaps, the powers that be have a really really dang good reason i should stay on them longer. Me being the judge of how good the reason is, of course. It will have been a good 6 months by then since it finaly started to work well, 8 or 9 since it started working a bit. It'd better work. I am determined that it will. So that's that. And don't anyone tell me stories about how most people have to stay on anti-depressants for years. I personally t hink my life can use a bit of optimism and determination.
In Febuary, in The Year of Our Lord 2006, I, Cor, am going to wean myself off of my medication. Unless of course all the unlesses maked that impossible. Say, perhaps, the powers that be have a really really dang good reason i should stay on them longer. Me being the judge of how good the reason is, of course. It will have been a good 6 months by then since it finaly started to work well, 8 or 9 since it started working a bit. It'd better work. I am determined that it will. So that's that. And don't anyone tell me stories about how most people have to stay on anti-depressants for years. I personally t hink my life can use a bit of optimism and determination.
Monday, September 19, 2005
aaah, vivaldi.
aaah, highspeed at my fingertips for a whole week.
aaah, being in the country.
aaah, fall. (if summer is determined to leave, i may as well enjoy fall. so don't crash my moment of being optimistic, anyone. it'll leave soon enough as it is.)
************
you know when people in books and such go on about how nice silenc eis with friends cuz one just knows what the other is thinking and it's like comunicating silently? well. i'm a big fan of silence between friends. but one is not always aware of what the other is thinking. one is often very self-absorbed. even when one does thinking about what the thoughts of the other person might be, one is often wrong. so there.
why oh why is this post not showing up unless i go into my acount? pete saw it, so maybe everyone but me can see it. why oh why?
aaah, highspeed at my fingertips for a whole week.
aaah, being in the country.
aaah, fall. (if summer is determined to leave, i may as well enjoy fall. so don't crash my moment of being optimistic, anyone. it'll leave soon enough as it is.)
************
you know when people in books and such go on about how nice silenc eis with friends cuz one just knows what the other is thinking and it's like comunicating silently? well. i'm a big fan of silence between friends. but one is not always aware of what the other is thinking. one is often very self-absorbed. even when one does thinking about what the thoughts of the other person might be, one is often wrong. so there.
why oh why is this post not showing up unless i go into my acount? pete saw it, so maybe everyone but me can see it. why oh why?
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
O.k. Cor. First of all, I don't feel like answering that in the comment box. So you can delete this, and tell me to quit posting in your blog, if you want. And I really wouldn't be hurt or anything. Does that sound like a catty girl?
Though, to be quite honest. I don't think you're that far off. But I don't like to admit it. In some ways, and I hate to say this, it wouldn't hurt us to grow up. I don't think it's all selfish badness on our part. Because sometimes people just change and grow apart. But I have recognized cattiness, of sorts. I know I can be mildly manipulative. And agree with people behind third persons back. There are some games. And I hate it.
Not that everything is nastiness on our part. Because people do naturally change and grow apart. But can that only be blamed so far? We've got such history as a group. You guys have been my friends forever.
Is it possible to get too comfortable around each other?
I wouldn't really think of the teasing being a problem. Or do you sometimes think that some of us (Eli and I) are ganging up on you? I try not to. It's maybe the talking about each other that's more of a problem. It's so easy to water the weaknesses we see in each other when we're talking to another of a group. Do you think? So dang simple to "rant" about another person. And tear each other down.
I mean, it's not like we could or should stop talking about each other. It's part of being in a group. But at a point we start complaining about each other. And that's not so cool.
And competition. We all want to be liked. And we want to feel like we're liked as much as everybody else. So I think we subconciously pout when we see how close others are. Can't we just all have fun around each other?
And tolerance? At what level? Accepting (non moral) differances. I need to work on it. Because stuff bugs me and I can't let it go. I figure I'm probably the worst for that though.
Sometimes I really moan my gender. Can't we fight things out. Throw a few good punches, and then shake hands.
Anyway, the last issue. Confronting each other. You know I'm going to be an advocate of that. And it's probably not my weakness. But think of it. wouldn't you way rather have somebody come to you with an issue? I know I would. Although I don't get hurt too easily. And I'd much rather have people know what I think about them to them, instead of only to everyone else. But maybe that's just me. So much less stress.
Good for you. That you face this, and bring it up. And say maybe this needs to change.
I hope we can all just say friends forever. I love you guys. And even if we can't, we've got memories. Just don't let things end on a negative!
Though, to be quite honest. I don't think you're that far off. But I don't like to admit it. In some ways, and I hate to say this, it wouldn't hurt us to grow up. I don't think it's all selfish badness on our part. Because sometimes people just change and grow apart. But I have recognized cattiness, of sorts. I know I can be mildly manipulative. And agree with people behind third persons back. There are some games. And I hate it.
Not that everything is nastiness on our part. Because people do naturally change and grow apart. But can that only be blamed so far? We've got such history as a group. You guys have been my friends forever.
Is it possible to get too comfortable around each other?
I wouldn't really think of the teasing being a problem. Or do you sometimes think that some of us (Eli and I) are ganging up on you? I try not to. It's maybe the talking about each other that's more of a problem. It's so easy to water the weaknesses we see in each other when we're talking to another of a group. Do you think? So dang simple to "rant" about another person. And tear each other down.
I mean, it's not like we could or should stop talking about each other. It's part of being in a group. But at a point we start complaining about each other. And that's not so cool.
And competition. We all want to be liked. And we want to feel like we're liked as much as everybody else. So I think we subconciously pout when we see how close others are. Can't we just all have fun around each other?
And tolerance? At what level? Accepting (non moral) differances. I need to work on it. Because stuff bugs me and I can't let it go. I figure I'm probably the worst for that though.
Sometimes I really moan my gender. Can't we fight things out. Throw a few good punches, and then shake hands.
Anyway, the last issue. Confronting each other. You know I'm going to be an advocate of that. And it's probably not my weakness. But think of it. wouldn't you way rather have somebody come to you with an issue? I know I would. Although I don't get hurt too easily. And I'd much rather have people know what I think about them to them, instead of only to everyone else. But maybe that's just me. So much less stress.
Good for you. That you face this, and bring it up. And say maybe this needs to change.
I hope we can all just say friends forever. I love you guys. And even if we can't, we've got memories. Just don't let things end on a negative!
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
what i've been trying to figure out lately, this mostly applies to kris as opposed to ell and ess, is if we the people who are good friends in our small town - are we pushing each other away? remember when rach was talking about us saying nasty things about other people, not that, but ourselves. i don't know, i can't tell really, but sometimes i wonder. our teasing of each other and talking about each other, does it get out of hand sometimes? or we not accepting of each other enough? also, in a similar vein, should we be confronting each other more about stuff? in fact, and to sum all this drivel up, are we being girly and catty?
so if that makes any sense, your thoughts please. i'm trying to hurry cuz i've only got so much time. like i say i'm not sure, so kris, astound us with your intellect. :)
so if that makes any sense, your thoughts please. i'm trying to hurry cuz i've only got so much time. like i say i'm not sure, so kris, astound us with your intellect. :)
Thursday, September 01, 2005
woooo! here i am! i think i sent my mass letter to you guys so you can read that if you want to know about camp. it was great and one of my friends from there might even come visit me. i also have a snail mail for you elly and i'm gonna write one to ess and then i'll send it.
today kris and john and i cleaned the mould out of the freezer. good to get that done.
i have a funeral on saturday, i have one syudent pinned down to a time and 3 or 4 more still trying to figure out schedules.
it's great weather out.
and that, ladies and guys, is my life. go me! maybe i'll get a deaper version of it next time. i'll think on that.
today kris and john and i cleaned the mould out of the freezer. good to get that done.
i have a funeral on saturday, i have one syudent pinned down to a time and 3 or 4 more still trying to figure out schedules.
it's great weather out.
and that, ladies and guys, is my life. go me! maybe i'll get a deaper version of it next time. i'll think on that.
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